Reflections of Leaders – How do you show up?

Have you ever wondered how people in your organization see you?  If not, really?!  If so, did it look something like one of these scenarios?

One of my best examples came from a conversation with one of my favorite leaders and mentors when he called me late one day.  (This was our habit.  I tended to work late and he was done with the craziness of his day.  It was the time in a day when each of us could focus on our conversation with each other.)  We had become great confidants and used each other to reflect thoughts and interactions.  That evening he called me and asked, “Deanna, if I tell people to go on vacation and then I don’t go, do they believe me?”  My response to him was “No, they don’t believe you. What you do, is what they believe.”  Our behavior as leaders is something our employees watch all of the time.

I had an interaction with an employee that startled me and caused me to ponder what I had done – or not done – that would give a particular impression.  Al came into my office and initially we were talking about a work project.  Then, he started talking about a book he had read.  Almost immediately, Al stopped and said, “You probably don’t read do you.”  Wow! (the bubble over my head appeared).  So, I asked him from a curious place, “What would give you the impression that I don’t read?”  Al’s response was “You’re so focused on work, I didn’t think that you had time to read for fun.”  Hmmm?! (another bubble).  I responded with “I love reading mystery novels.  It is my time to relax and step away from work.”  Al provided me with an opportunity to open up with him and an insight about the importance of letting people know about the dimensions of who I am beyond work.

Sometimes saying nothing allows our employees to fill in the blanks with what they see and hear.  The absence of information, whether it be going on vacation or reading for fun, enables people to create their own story of who we are in all aspects of our lives.

So I encourage you to ponder these questions: “How do I show up?”  “What unintended messages am I sending?”  How might my colleagues and employees be interpreting that information, or lack thereof?”  It is so easy to be caught up in all of the work we have to complete that our humanness is not communicated.  To that point, it is essential for that humanness to be authentic.  If it is contrived, others will see that too.  My goal is to help you communicate the authentic you, and foster genuine connections with the people with whom you work. Everyone benefits from this new, rich understanding.