What’s in your invisible backpack?
You’re probably thinking – what is that? And, maybe you’re even replying, “I don’t have one of those.” Whether we like it or not, know it or not, we all have them. Our invisible backpacks have different shapes, sizes, forms, and colors. And, they come with us when we walk into a group or room.
The first time I heard about this was from a colleague of mine at The Ohio State University. His wife, who was a nurse, had attended a diversity training course at the hospital where she worked. As he explained it to me, as a white male he walks into each meeting he attends with his “invisible backpack.” In that backpack he carries his education, credibility, stature, status, and a host of additional attributes. Others at the meeting might have different (e.g., smaller, different color, etc.) backpacks, or none at all (in the eyes of the people in attendance). The backpacks we carry can give us or take away from us power and position.
When I was in my first faculty position and teaching my first course, my Teaching Assistant came into my office to talk with me. Dave, a bright, motivated, and compassionate graduate student, was confronted with a challenge. All of the students in the class kept swarming into his office to get help and he was frustrated. Dave said, “I have to put limits on when the students can come to my office and I must enforce them.” We talked about office hours and whether he had posted those, which was the first step. Then, our conversation became more philosophical. I told him that I had office hours posted and no one was coming by. As we talked, I said, “I used to be in the same position as you when I was a graduate student – the students were always in my office or stopping me when they saw me to get help. Now, I’m the professor. I haven’t changed, however, my position has changed.” The limits often come as a result of what’s in our invisible backpack, whether or not we want them. And, try as we might to change that perception there’s that backpack full of stuff.
What’s also remarkable about your invisible backpack is that you are not the only person putting things in there. Others are filling it, taking things out of it, changing it, and coloring it, without you knowing because IT’S ON YOUR BACK – AND YOU CAN’T SEE IT.
This silly thing becomes somewhat of a burden, especially when it is heavy. In one of my early leadership experiences, my boss and mentor said to me, “Deanna, when you walk into a meeting, you think you’re going in as a scientist and are just a participant in the conversation. However, you are now in a position of power. Everyone in that room is waiting to hear what you say to determine what their position will be on the topic. You are no longer one of them. What you say now has more power.” (The bubble over my head appeared.) Wow, I merely wanted to engage in the conversation as an equal participant. I wasn’t able to do that anymore. My engagement now required me to behave differently, doing more listening and less talking. Even questions of curiosity from me became interpreted as questions of criticism, because it came from me – now a leader and supervisor.
You may want to believe that you can don or toss your invisible backpack. Well, you can’t no matter how hard you try. Fortunately, you can become more aware of it from those confidants around you. It is important that we, as leaders and learners, seek to have our backpacks and its contents described to us. With that knowledge, you can manage its impact and influence with courage and grace. I also encourage you to help others see theirs. A fun aspect about your invisible backpack is that it is not a static thing – it requires constant attention. So, learn from it, embrace it, and enjoy becoming more aware.
