How do you respond to “DUCK!”?
Words are powerful! They have multiple meanings and cause a variety of reactions. Sometimes there are phrases that we commonly use and when they are teased apart you wonder…hmmm?
Recently reflecting on a wonderful event with some of my DC-area friends, I thought about the power of words. We were visiting the National Zoo with their twin two-year olds. Lucy was on her dad’s shoulders. He was walking along and I noticed a low hanging branch on a tree. I said, “DUCK!” to Lucy. Her response was “Quack, quack.” I laughed out loud thinking that for her, this was an appropriate response.
Some of my female friends and colleagues react strongly being called “Ma’am.” After living in the southeastern US, I began using “Sir” and “Ma’am” more often. It was a term of respect in many circles. I also have worked with people from the military where Ma’am and Sir are commonly used. My friends feel that “Ma’am” can be a disparaging descriptor. One time when I used “Sir” on an airplane in the western US towards a male cleaning crew member, the others around him said, “she’s calling you old.” Wow, that wasn’t my intent at all; I was being respectful. Context and culture are important with when and how we use words.
In graduate school, a fellow graduate student in our laboratory always used to begin his comments with “To tell you the truth…” Did this mean when he didn’t use that phrase that he might not be telling the truth? I used to work with a person who always said, “You’re so wonderful.” Because it was used so frequently, it lost its meaning and impact. That is sad. What phrases do you commonly use? How do they impact those around you? Have they lost their meaning on others?
I have often listened to, and been the recipient of people’s messages towards managers, leaders, and executives. I began to realize that when people refer to others by the title of their jobs (e.g., the Chief, Director, Team Leader), the building in which they work (e.g., Headquarters, the Dean’s Office), or the location of the office (e.g., Portland, DC), etc. it is a way to depersonalize the message. Unfortunately, it also dehumanizes the person. And, frequently it enables the message deliverer to miss its impact on the recipient. Or, maybe not. When have you experienced this, or delivered a message in that way? I encourage you to reflect on the power of your words. After all, your own words are the ones you can influence. It is difficult to let the words directed at you “roll off your back.” When that is tough to do, what is your next step?
How would you respond to hearing “DUCK!”?
